ローリー Rori

ローリーが逝ってしまいました。
Rori passed away.

いつもと変わらぬ様子で、ゴハンも完食。何かを要求する時にはホニャホニャ鳴いて手足をバタバタさせていたのに……
あまりにも突然で全く予想もしていなかったので、ローリーの死を受け入れることができません。
闘病中だったとか体調が思わしくなかったということもなかったのに。
何が原因だったのか、何か体の不調を思わせるようなサインを見落としていたのか？
He was acting normal, eating all his food, bouncing around his feet and crying whenever he wanted something...
It was so sudden, I can't accept that he's gone.
It wasn't like he was fighting some illness or his condition wasn't up to par.
Had I overlooked any reason, any sign that his body wasn't all okay?

10歳になったばかりのローリー。一生を終えるには早すぎる。
Rori had just turned 10. His life ended all too soon.

昨年春の歯石取りの時も、秋の健康診断の時にも特別問題は指摘されませんでした。
頚椎の問題を抱えていたのでその関係なのか……
He was determined to have no problems last spring when I took him in to get his teeth cleaned and in the fall when she had her check-up.
He had some problems with his neck vertebrae, so I wonder if that was it...

歩行異常で売り物にならないと引き取りやに引き取られたローリー。
「それ持っていくの？脳がダメなんじゃないかな。すぐ死んじゃうよ」
“ここにいたら死ななくていい子も死んじゃうんだよ！怒”
という言葉をのみこんで連れ帰ってきました。
He had a walking deficiency and couldn't be sold to pet stores, and I took him from the middleman. "You're going to take that? It's brain is bad. It'll die immediately!"
It took all I had not to shout back, "The babies in here who don't need to die will otherwise!"

手足を不自然に動かしてバタバタ走ってた
ナックリングもあってすぐに足から血が出ちゃったね
おしっこもうんちもグルグル回りながらだんだんトイレシートから離れて行ってしまうから、うちに来てからずっとオムツっ子だった
寒がりで真夏でも毛布にくるまっていたっけ
He ran padding about awkwardly with his paws.
He also had some knuckling and would bleed from his feet easily.
He'd spin around when he needed to go to the bathroom, and steadily strayed from the potty pads, so I've always had to keep him in diapers since day one at home.
He'd get cold easily, and I had to keep him wrapped up in a blanket, even in midsummer.


生まれた時から運動障害があったので積極的な運動やお散歩はできなくて寝て過ごすことが多かったです。なので筋肉がつけられずに本当にペラペラでした。「立たせて四肢に体重をかけるだけでも違うから」との先生のアドバイスで時間を見つけては体を支えて立たせることを繰り返しました。
He spent most of his days lounging about sleeping since he was born with a movement impediment and couldn't be active or take walks. That's why he was as sturdy as a toothpick, since he couldn't develop his muscles. "You won't be able to get him to stand up with his whole body weight on all 4 legs," the doctor advised me, so I repeatedly found the time help support him to stand.

思えば2015年6月に原因不明の高熱を出して入院したあたりから急速に弱って行った気がします。ほとんどの時間を寝て過ごすようになり便秘と下痢を繰り返すようになりました。ここ数ヶ月は自力での排便が難しくなり、毎日オムツ交換の時に腸をマッサージしながら絞り出すことが必要でした。
Come to think of it, I think he'd rapidly weakened since he got a high fever for some unknown reason in June 2015 and had to be hospitalized. He started spending almost all of his time sleeping and kept getting cycles of constipation and then diarrhea. It'd been difficult in the past few months for him to defecate by himself, and every day when I changed his diapers I had to massage his bowels to help coax it out.

筋肉が衰えると大腸の蠕動運動が低下して便秘になりやすくなります。そして寝たきりになると腸が緩んだ状態になり腸内の老廃物の移動が遅くなる弛緩性便秘になりやすくなります。老廃物の移動が遅くなると水分が腸に吸収されすぎて便が硬くなってしまいます。
また、便秘により腸内環境が悪化し下痢を引き起こします。「肛門近くは便秘の硬い便でふさがっていて、その奥は大量の下痢」ということになるのです。ローリーも自然排便ができなくて摘便をしたことがあります。
When the muscles weaken, the peristalsis of the colon declines, and constipation is more likely. Plus if he's sleeping all day, the bowels become soft and can lead to atonic constipation, in which the movement of waste in the intestines slows. If the movement of waste slows, too much moisture is absorbed in the bowels, and the stool becomes hard. In addition, the intestinal environment worsens due to constipation and causes diarrhea. Put it simply, if the anus is being blocked up by hard stool, a large amount of diarrhea is right behind it. It became so hard for him to pass it by himself that I sometimes had to stick a finger in to help him push it out.

寝ている間にバタバタ動いて毛布からはみ出してしまうと、手足が冷たくなってしまうローリー。ソックスを履かせてみたのですが動いている間に脱げてしまうしゴムの部分の締め付けで余計に血流が悪くなる感じがして使うのをやめました。
If his legs popped out from under her blanket while he was sleeping, his legs and feet would get cold. I tried putting socks on him, but he moved around so much they'd fall off, and I also think his blood circulation worsened due to the elastic, so I quit.

寒いです……
I'm cold....

何か良いものがないか探していて閃いたのがコレ
I had been looking around for some good things for him and happened to think of these.

足先まですっぽり覆えるベビー服
これがビンゴで足先の冷えが解消できたと喜んだのに……
Baby clothes that would cover him down to his toes.
Bingo. We were happy that his feet were no longer cold....


火葬が済んで小さな骨壷に収まってしまったローリー。それでもまだローリーの死を受け入れることができない
きっとあわて者の神様が間違えてローリーを連れて行ってしまったんだろう。ローリーの番は本当はずーーーーっと先だったはずなのに。神様、ローリーを返して‼︎
I had Rori cremated and put into an urn. Even still I can't accept the fact that he's dead.
Surely God had made a mistake and took him in place of someone else. It's definitely not his turn to go--far from it. God, bring him back!!

突然死、何の前触れもなく突然逝ってしまう。こんなことも起こることがあるからこそ本当は「今日が最期の日」という気持ちで一日一日を大切にしてワンズ達と接していかなきゃいけないんだよね。ワンズと・・というより「生き方」としてかな。
He died so suddenly, just passed away with no warning. It's exactly because these things happen that I need to make each day count with my dogs, because you never know if today will be your last. With my dogs...rather, maybe, as a way to live in principle, I guess.

時間が解決してくれるのを待つしかないんだろう。今はただローリーとの思い出にどっぷり浸かってたくさん泣きたい。それしかできないし。
Time heals all wounds, so I guess all I can do is wait. I just want to sit down and cry thinking about all the memories we made together. That's all I can do right now.

主人を亡くしたローリールーム
Rori's room, now empty without its owner

この場所を他の子達に開放できるようになるまでにはまだちょっと時間がかかりそう
I think I'll need some more time before I can open up this space to the other kids.

ローリーセット
Rori's outfits

ローリー　10年なんてあっという間だったね
Rori--10 years goes by in a flash

まだまだ美味しいものたくさん食べて欲しかった

ローリーのオムツ換えもしたかった

ずっと一緒にいられると思ってた
I wanted you to eat more and more good food.
I even wanted to change your diapers.
I thought we'd always be together.

そっち側でひと休みしたら必ずまたママのところに戻っておいで

「ママ、ただいま！ローリー帰ってきたよ！」ってちゃんとママにわかるように大きな声で言うんだよ

そして、その時は元気に走り回れる丈夫な体で生まれておいで
Rest over on the other side for a bit, then come back to Mommy.
Bark our loudly to me as if to say, "Mommy, I'm home! I'm back, Mommy!" so I'll know you're there.
And come back born into a healthy body so you can run around freely.

おねーちゃんに顔に落書きされたよ(>_<)
Sis graffitied my face (>_<) 

約束だよ

待ってるからね

少しのあいだバイバイ
I promise.
I'll be waiting.
It's just bye for now.

ぽちっと応援お願いします Every bit helps